Career Vs Family: Can a Biblical Woman have both?

"I will never be a stay-at-home mom like you. I will go to work so that I can give my kids good things and show them that they can be successful in life."

These were the exact piercing words of naive, teenage me to my mother amidst one of our many arguments. At that time, I firmly believed that a successful career took precedence over being a stay-at-home mom. I was determined to be different, to break away from the traditional path my mother chose, and to climb the career ladder. But oh, how things changed once I had children! The thought of leaving them to go to work shattered my heart into a million pieces. The idea of missing even a moment of their cute little smiles or not being there to comfort them during their meltdowns was simply unbearable.

Suddenly, my perspective shifted. I gained a newfound respect for my mother, who sacrificed her career to be with us. And my father, who asked her to stay at home, was no longer the villain in my mind. He was the hero who valued family over everything. I found myself questioning what I had always believed—What is a ‘good mother’? Can someone who pursues a successful career really be a good mother? Or is it an either-or situation?

My Personal Journey: Juggling Career and Kids

When I had my first child, I had to return to work when she was barely 2.5 months old. At the time, it was lockdown due to the COVID-19 outbreak so it meant I had to intentionally ‘ignore’ my child to prioritize my work for those given hours. I faced this heart-breaking dilemma: Could I balance being a present mother and pursue my passion for my work? There were days when I felt I was stretched too thin. Juggling kids’ schedules, work deadlines, and keeping the house from becoming a complete disaster left me feeling overwhelmed.

The mom guilt was real—every time I missed an important milestone or felt too exhausted to give my kids undivided attention. The guilt was real on both sides. Every time I had to ask for time off or a deadline extension so that I could be with my kids when they needed me, the guilt kicked in.

On the flip side, when I’d be working, and my kids looked for my attention and I’d have to say “not now” for the umpteenth time, the look of disappointment broke me. I lost sleep over whether I was damaging my kids or whether I was failing as an employee. Every time there was a review and the fact that I’d be looked down on because I’d chosen my kids over a work requirement was brought up, I felt like a failure. I was exhausted. However, as I prayed and sought God's guidance, I realized that God equips us to fulfill our roles, even when it feels impossible. What’s more is that I realized, God has actually allowed for women to work. 

The Proverbs 31 Woman: A Biblical Example for Today’s Moms

For many Christian women, the Proverbs 31 woman represents the ideal balance between career and motherhood. Verse 16 tells us that "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard." This shows us that women are encouraged to work, not just in the home but in the marketplace as well. She serves as an example of how women can balance both roles without sacrificing one for the other.

In today’s fast-paced society, we’re often led to believe that we must choose one over the other. Being a stay at home mother in the Christian world is oftentimes considered ‘the right way’ to bring up our children in his ways. The truth is, God wants us to use our talents both in and outside the home. The key is knowing how to balance both responsibilities in a way that honors God, our families, and ourselves.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a great example of how a modern-day woman can embrace both motherhood and a career. She wasn’t just a homemaker; she was a businesswoman who bought and sold fields and used her earnings to take care of her household. She worked hard, but her family remained her priority.

Is It Career vs. Kids? Or Can You Have Both?

Society might make us believe that you can’t have it all. However, in God’s economy, it’s about doing the best with what we have. The Proverbs 31 woman worked hard, but she wasn’t isolated from her family. Her work contributed to their well-being and brought her fulfillment. It’s the perfect picture of how, with God’s help, you can successfully juggle both your career and motherhood. What’s more important is, she did it with her husband’s consent and support.

Let’s also not forget that Satan is actively attacking marriages and families, trying to wear us down. But just like Proverbs 31 encourages us, we must rise early, work hard, and fight to preserve our homes and raise children in God’s way.

Practical Tips for Balancing Career and Family Life:

1. Prioritize God: Commit your work and your family to the Lord. Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Make sure your decisions about career and family align with God’s will.

2. Delegate: The Proverbs 31 woman had help (verse 15 speaks of her servants). Whether it’s hiring help, swapping babysitting duties with a friend, or leaning on family, don’t be afraid to ask for support.

3. Establish Boundaries: Set clear work-life boundaries so that when you’re home, you’re truly present. Close the laptop, silence the phone, and focus on what matters most.

4. Give Yourself Grace: You won’t always get it right, and that’s okay. Motherhood and career can be a delicate balance, and it’s essential to extend yourself the same grace that God offers.

5. Stay Connected: Stay grounded in prayer and Bible study. Let God be your guide when you feel overwhelmed. James 1:5 reminds us that God gives wisdom to those who ask for it.

6. Submit to your husband: Consider what your husband would like you to do in this matter. Do you actually need to work to keep the family out of debt? Or are doing it to further your ambition? Is your husband in agreement? Your marriage is a partnership and so is parenting. 

   
   

Final Thoughts: God’s Design for Moms

The modern-day woman may wear many hats, but God’s design for us as mothers and workers remains timeless. Just as the Proverbs 31 woman excelled at both her work and her family duties, God empowers us to do the same. So, whether you’re a working mom, stay-at-home mom, or somewhere in between, you’re not in this alone. Trust that God sees you and will give you the strength and wisdom to succeed.

At the end of the day, the question isn’t whether we can balance career and kids. It’s about seeking God’s direction in all we do and trusting Him with the outcome. You may not be able to do it all, but with God, you can do what matters most.